I sit.

I watch.

I lick my lips,

An irrepressible yearning

Building within me,

Deep in the pit of my stomach,

As he draws closer.


I shake.

I breathe.

I close my eyes,

And battle the dark compulsions

That rage within me,

Knowing with each passing second

That I will give in.


I stand.

I turn.

I start to walk,

Hoping to get away in time,

Hoping to escape

Before he gets too close to me,

Too close to resist.


I flinch.

I sigh.

I turn around

As I hear him call out to me,

His friendly request

For some spare change, his bus fare home,

Dissolving my will.


I nod.

I smile.

I wait for him,

Watching as he jogs towards me.

My heart is pounding,

Savage desires consuming me

As he approaches.


He stops.

He grins.

He speaks calmly,

Repeating his request for coins

To pay his fare home.

I reach down into my pocket

Caressing my knife.


I pause.

I frown.

I look around,

Half hoping to see someone else,

Another person,

Any excuse to stop myself,

But we are alone.


I jerk.

I thrust.

I lunge at him,

Gripping his shoulder fiercely,

Producing my blade,

Driving it into his stomach,

Slicing through his flesh.


He gasps.

He moans.

His eyes widen

As pain erupts in his belly.

His blood starts to flow,

Cascading over my fingers,

Dripping to the ground.


He whines.

He pants.

His mouth opens,

But he can no longer form words.

I reach out to him,

Placing my hand over his heart,

Feeling as it slows.


He slumps.

He falls.

He hits the ground.

My knife slips from his abdomen

As he falls away,

And as he lies bleeding, dying,

I wipe the blade clean.


I stand.

I stare.

I watch him die,

Waiting for his breathing to cease,

For his heart to stop,

For the light to fade from his eyes.

Then I sigh, relieved.


I laugh.

I turn.

I walk away.

I no longer feel the craving,

The aching desire

To take the life of another,

To murder, to kill.


I think.

I know.

I am certain,

That my dark desires will return.

That boy was my first,

But now I've tasted blood I'm sure,

He won't be my last.



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