“Cut off a wolf's head and it still has the power to bite”
- Lady Eboshi “Princess Mononoke”
extended my claws in a stretch. I pulled my hands back
in close into my body. My eyes flashed a deadly orange
as I smiled into the mirror. Perfect.
I dusted off my uniform with a nervous
smile. Tentatively I took a few steps down the path.
What would they think of me? My back was arched
slightly. What would this place have to offer me? And
what did Ichiou mean when he mentioned this place? It
was an old looking building, the stones were grey;
chipped. There was a sweeping lawn to the left of where
I was walking. Is this where the students mingled?
The cold emptiness stretched above,
whilst bats and daemons flew together amass the steely,
hard turrets. No one ever came out of here alive...
I shook my head and grunted. These images
would not let me alone of late. What did they mean? What
did my future hold? Coldness and darkness? Death and
destruction? If what I saw was real, I could think maybe
I sniffed the air and frowned. Looking
down the path I saw a newcomer. She smelt different.
What was this? Who was this, thing?
The mass of bodies and grinding teeth
gnashed across my vision. Fur and blood spattered across
the marble dance floor. Red blood, grey fur, and amber
eyes. Piercing amber eyes. Ringed with dark black.
Hollow. Empty. Flash.
This was starting to scare me now, but I
was almost there. People had seen me and they were
muttering, curious; dubious. There was a gaggle of teens
outside a large room, maybe a hall? If it had marble
floors I would walk out. Tell mum it had happened again.
We could move. But she'd just unpacked again, and seemed
to think we'd be here for a while. Maybe I would just
have to stick it out. After all, what's the worst that
This girl, these smells, it's...new?
What's happening to me? This girl, is fairly
unremarkable. Brunette hair, green eyes. Full, thick
lips. She was wearing a green, checkered, button down
shirt and a black skirt that showed off long, sexy legs,
but she wasn't sensationally beautiful, nor was she a
loups-garoux. So what was this feeling?
It was much later in the day that I saw
him. This school was very old, but the insides were
modern. Cold white walls. The whole place seemed very
cold. Maybe it was just this winter frost that covered
everything. But it was later, much later, when I saw the
man who would change my destiny forever. Most life
changing happenings in books happen in a picturesque
setting, and their eyes meet and they know. Well I
didn't. This is our story.
I had felt nauseous all day. The cold.
The flashes of images. I didn't understand what I was
supposed to do here. And I kept seeing the eyes.
Piercing amber eyes. The first time I saw him I was sat
in English. It was after lunch. I had made a couple of
"friends" that I sat with, but I still felt ostracized
and alone. In classes we could choose where we sat, and
the people that I sat with seemed to be nice enough. But
we'd probably be gone again soon, so it didn't really
matter that these "friendships" weren't firm. English
had its own separate block, and they hadn't refurbished
this building from the old castle. This was because it
was more "poetic" this way, and we would "find it easier
to understand how the characters in our studies lived".
The stones were uneven and kind of rough. Like if you
ran your hand over it, it would cut you. It was the
coldest part of the school; as they had skimped on
refurbishment, they also skimped on heating. Looking
around though, you might not be able to tell that it was
cold. Some students weren't wearing coats and some were
even wearing short sleeved shirts! We had just settled
and class had only just started when he came in. I can
even remember my first thought of him. Ugh.
He came sauntering in, and the classroom
entrance was at the back, so he had to go through all
the students in order to get to the teacher. I forget
why he was there. Some task for some teacher. But what I
do remember is him parading through the desks as if he
owned the place, high fiving certain students. Ugh, I
thought. Jock. He didn't look like the jock type though.
Neither did any of the guys that he was high-fiving.
They looked strong, granted, but not really jockish. He
had good strong shoulders and soft brown hair. He was
really tall and wearing a simple red shirt, and looked
sort of country. Not really jockish, right? So what was
this high-fiving business? When he walked past me
though, he stopped. Turned. Looked straight at me. Then
moved on. His eyes matched his hair, but darker,
pulling, holding, sinking. He carried on with his
high-fiving ritual down the rows.
Dark brown paws, claws, gently
scratching, stroking almost, a friendly greeting of
I shook my head to clear the image.
Somehow he had already left; class was starting again. I
noticed that some of the girls in the class were
fidgeting and giggling. Two guesses what they were all
hot under the collar about. Some were wearing coats, and
some weren't. And that was the fated meeting. Things
just started to snowball from there.
I had to go into her class for an errand.
She smelt so weird! Enchanting. I can't believe I just
thought that in connection to her smell. What is wrong
with me? I asked my brothers and sisters what they
thought of her on the way to the teacher. "Intriguing,"
they said, "and different". I don't think she effects
them as much. It makes me want to run. Run hard.
I had always been interested in art. I
always got very good grades on abstract projects.
Probably because I always drew what I saw in my mind.
This school's art block was divine. They had a vast
array of materials and subject matters. My pleasure in
this class had nothing to do with the boy from earlier
being in it. He was staring. Not smiling or frowning, no
expression. Just staring at me. I was studiously
ignoring him, of course. I'm not a moron. I'm used to a
certain amount of attention from men. The minute you
show interest is your downfall. And when you have to
show interest otherwise you lose them, you have to keep
aloof and mysterious. I know the whys of men. Even
glancing his way would be disastrous. He was used to
being fawned over. Time to bring him down a peg.
A brown tatty muzzle raised to a dark
night and an illustrious moon. A magical night with a
spattering of stars. Dreams can come true when you free
the beast inside you...the brown furred one was happy
when it was one with the night...
Well that was a new sensation! I could
feel how this creature was feeling! How odd! Well
then...What to do now? If these flashes got more
frequent then I would have to do something. This was
getting kinda scary...
Why won't she look at me? She smells so
good! So interesting! Makes my paws run wild! Girls
always look at me! I own this town! I heard a crunching,
grinding sound. Whoops. My nails bit through the desk.
Hmm. Why does she smell different? And why is this new
smell making me so crazy? I gotta get outta here...
He stood up and stormed out. What a baby.
Just 'cos I won't look at you, boy? I looked over at his
desk after he had gone. There were deep rivets in
the solid wood. Hmm, was that him? Did he get a knife to
the desk or something? At least I can get out of here
after this lesson. I was really tired. It's this
Finally the teacher dismissed us and I
was home free. I decided to walk home instead of taking
the bus. I don't know why now, later, but at the time I
knew I just had to. I started to walk home slowly.
Although I was gradually freezing to death, I was
enjoying the tranquil scenery of the new town. It was a
very old town, with no buildings younger than fifty
years old. It was pretty, and quaint, and when summer
would come the place would look simply lovely. I knew
exactly what mum was thinking when she moved me here;
what trouble could I possibly get into here? Little did
either of us know that I had already found trouble,
although maybe, in hindsight, trouble found me.
He came sauntering up behind me while I
was walking. All confidence and killer smiles. I would
be hostile, I decided, with the tiniest bit of flirting
"Soooooooo, where you headed?" he asked,
It was the first time I'd heard him speak
and it was different to how I'd imagined it somehow. I
don't really know what I had expected, but it was deep
and sexy. Alluring and slightly...gravelly, although he
was being perfectly nice. Instead of turning to jelly at
his voice, which is obviously what he expected, I stared
resolutely in front of myself and simply sniffed,
"Home," rather primly I might add.
It was perfect. He was obviously taken
aback. I didn't allow myself the smirk I felt bubbling
up inside of me. We walked in silence for a fair while.
"Are you following me?" I snapped finally.
"No!" he shot back, trying to copy my
aloof attitude. "I'm just going home, like you."
"Oh, your home is this way is it?" I
snarled, it was a bit extreme, and cruel, but necessary.
"Yes," he said simply. Then he started to
No, this would not do. I sped up with
him. Not the best move, but if I played it right it
could still pan out properly. "Where do you think you're
going? I'm not done with you yet."
This girl, she's trouble. She's work.
Wow. We're talking reasonably now though. It's only been
a half hour and I think we're connecting. She really
does smell enchanting. Gods. I'm almost home now though,
I wonder where she lives...It can't be that far from me,
not many people live out here anymore, not since...
Maybe he isn't as big headed as I'd
thought. He's quite funny. I must keep mysterious,
though. If I want anything out of this, then I can't
talk about myself much, he can't know why me and my
family moved here. He just can't. Well I'm almost home
now, where could his house be? All the houses round here
Uh-oh. I forgot it was for sale...
Uh-oh. I can't believe this...
Neighbors. We're neighbors. Oh God, I
can't keep aloof all the time..! How can I get him to
date me when he lives next door! Oh this is terrible...
Neighbors. Haha. This will be fun. You
should have seen her squirm when she found out. Heh,
she'll have no choice but to pay attention to me now,
hmm I wonder when she leaves for school...
In the next week we were walking to and
from school together practically every day, but when any
of the other kids who never wore jackets came by he
stopped talking to me. He would never tell me why. He
was funny though. And most definitely attractive. He
liked me, I could tell. He would have to ask me out
soon. Strangely, though, I didn't have many other boys
competing for me. I normally had a few. Some of the guys
with jackets paid me enough attention, but the
jacket-less wonders didn't really see me. I couldn't
work out why.
Well, I was soon to find out, wasn't I?
He asked me out a few weeks after I came
to the school. I acted like nothing could bore me more,
but said yes. I was secretly thrilling. I didn't just
want him for fun anymore, I was really starting to like
him. He started holding my hand walking to and from
school, and after a couple of days, kissing me goodbye
at the end of the road. Times came in the day when I
couldn't wait for the walk. My friends noticed a change,
but I didn't tell them what it was. One, they would
never believe me, and two, he hadn't told any of his
friends, so why should I? It took a while for things to
really go down, but when they did, it was hell on earth.
I don't know why he did it when he did,
but after a while he moved next to me in art class. And
math. They were the only classes we had together, and
when he did the murmurs went up. High. The girls all
looked equally happy for me and jealous at the same
time, but some of his friends looked murderous. They
were all glaring at him and I even saw one of them
shaking his head at him.
Snarling, snapping teeth, vicious growls
and moans. Low pitched rumbling and ferocious amber
eyes. the brown creature snarled back, angry and
wrathful, but he was scared too. Scared for his life.
I'm in love with him. We'd been going out
for two months and I was finally ready to admit that I
was in love with him. He tells me he loves me all the
time, but I just smile and nod. I was ready to tell him
those fatal words: "I love you too". The glares had not
decreased any, indeed they seemed to have gotten more
intense. But I didn't really notice what had been going
on right under my nose. I didn't notice until he told
me. Until my belief in reality and existence itself was
shaken to the very core. Until he showed me, showed me
who he really was.
It was a dark night. We had gone down to
the park after school. We didn't do this very often,
although I was free a lot of the time, but he wouldn't
tell me why.
"Come with me tonight", he told me. "I
have to show you something. If you want to be with me I
have to show you this, and alert you to the danger that
you are in."
I thought he was joking. I honestly did.
Why wouldn't he be?
That night, was the scariest of my life.
Well it had been until now, but I'll tell you where I am
later. We sat on the park, drinking ginger ale and
watching the sun go down. We said we loved each other
and cuddled on the blanket he had brought out with him.
The park was not two hundred yards from where we both
lived, so we were allowed to stay out quite late. When
it got dark, and the streetlamps over the other side of
the park had started to turn on, he started to shake. It
was scary, really scary, and I didn't know what was
going on, but when I asked him he said roughly "there
was something I had to show you, remember?" I told him
that I was scared and he replied "don't be, it's
natural". This really made me panic. I was starting to
think he was going to die. Over this side of the park,
there wasn't much light at all. There was really only
starlight and the thin crescent moon above to see by,
but when I saw what I saw, I knew I couldn't blame the
His eyes fixed on my face, looking
pitiful, and scared. Scared, I now know, of being
judged. But as he was shaking, he seemed to be getting
darker, as if he was going into shadows, and...was his
hair longer than it had been this morning? Then his
eyes, his eyes flashed. A horrible scary amber that I'd
seen before. That I'd been seeing all too frequently in
my life. That was the moment I started screaming.
His body, shaking. He wasn't suddenly
going into shadow. Although I wish he had been. He was
sprouting fur. Brown like his hair. His clothes fell off
him as he hunched over, and went onto all fours. Claws
sprouted from his new paws, a tail materialized.
Werewolf. And my life turned upside down.
I stretched my claws out, shrugging off
the confining human form. Let my hair grow out instead
of having it cramped in the confining, hairless skin of
the pale ones. My tail sprouted out, free from the
oppression of my lesser form. I was wild again. How I
liked it. She was screaming. I thought she said she
loved me? If she loved me shouldn't she love all that I
am? I love her. The goddess. Why is she screaming? I'm
not a monster...
He started to whimper. It was like he was
crying. I stopped screaming. Was this really the boy I
had began to love? Love with a fire burning inside,
pining, yearning to be with him whenever we were apart?
It couldn't be.
Yet, he was whimpering a fair amount. Who
was he? Was he my love? and if he was, how was I
supposed to carry on loving him, knowing that he's
My visions were all true. There are
monsters in this town and there's nothing I can do about
it, because I am in love with one. Yes, I am still in
love with him. I can't break up with him, because even
now I miss him so. He took me home after he changed
back. He didn't really want to, he says he feels free
that way, in a way that he can never be when he is like
me. He said that. Like me. He said its more relaxing
that way, but he had to change back. He had to talk to
me, and couldn't whilst he was like that. His family
don't like him dating "one of them" and apparently I'm
in "real danger of my life".
Apparently his family runs this town.
They are the oldest family in all of the world. They own
the whole werewolf population, and he is going to
inherit that someday. Hmm, I'm dating a prince. Most
girls would be excited by this prospect, but now I
really am scared. If this whole town is populated with
them, and he says that they are, and they all hate me
for dating their precious prince, when he must marry a
werewolf to keep the bloodline going, then what are they
going to do to me?
Kill me apparently. I don't want to go
back to school tomorrow. Hell I don't want to go out of
the house! Wolves are deadly and efficient killers. They
are made that way. And they do turn to proper wolves,
not the shape deformed, mutant malfunctions of nature
that legends tell us. Calculating, real, organised
packs. The most powerful of all the world live next door
to me. I was petrified for my life.
Of course I had to go to school. I had to
show him that I still loved him, and mum would know that
I wasn't ill. I'm not a very good liar. But that day, at
school, it seemed that they knew I knew. And they were
much more vicious than usual. I asked him that
lunchtime, and he said that whenever they touch, a high
five, or a hug, or anything, then they are able to
communicate thoughts and ideas, which came in very
useful when they were hunting, unable to use vocal
noises, and since body language could be a bit hard to
interpret. So they did know that I knew.
The rest of that week the "pack" got very
restless. I knew who they were now, the ones without
jackets in this freezing weather. I knew there was
something different about them! They snarled at me when
I went past, and snapped at me when no non wolves were
around. I didn't understand how so many humans could
live here with them and not know anything was wrong. But
that Saturday night, this Saturday night, is when the
shit REALLY hit the fan.
It is the school's annual dance. The
loups-garoux don't normally end up going, and my darling
thought that he would be the only loups-garoux there,
but he was sadly, terribly, deadly wrong.
They knew. They always know. They knew he
would take me there, and they had to look out for him.
They had to make sure he didn't fall in love. They were
too late already. I think they knew that, deep in the
back of their minds, I think they knew really. They had
to, if they touched him then they would know that his
thoughts were always on me, or so he claims anyway. He
often makes sweet statements like that. I don't doubt
him, but you never can know for sure if someone is
telling the truth, can you?
I know that is how I feel. I can't stop
thinking about him. I can't get him out of my head.
Whenever I am near him, my whole body tingles, when I
think of him, I can't help but smile. I smile throughout
the day, I smile through my worries, because I love him
so. Adults claim that you can't know love until you have
more experience of the world, but I know what I feel. I
know why I miss him so much. I know why fireworks go off
behind my eyes when we kiss, when we touch. I know that
I am in love. It is the first time I have been in love,
so I am wary, but our love will endure throughout the
ages. He feels the same, I know he does. He has told me
so. There is nothing to disbelieve either. He whispers
his feelings with such conviction, his words a soft song
on the wind, dancing around me, engulfing me, breathing
life into my battered soul. My love. My life.
I couldn't help but think about her the
night before the dance. It is my fault that they are
here, to keep an eye on her. They intend to kill her, I
know they do. I can read it in their minds, see it in
their deadly eyes. I'm scared for her, I need to protect
her. They wouldn't be so stupid though, as to start a
public fight, would they? Surely not. She looks divine
this night, as every night, but tonight especially, a
floating baby blue cocktail dress, long, elegant. Her
beautiful hair is pinned up tonight, exposing her long
neck, and graceful shoulders. I extend my suit-clad arm
to her, and we simultaneously draw a long breath. I push
open the door to the dance hall. What would happen
Marble. The floors are marble. Just like
I knew they would be all along. I keep catching
glimpses, out of the corners of my eyes, of the same
bloodstained floor of my visions. So this is what Ichiou
meant. About my final destiny. When he told me, that,
sad though it may be, the brightest, most beautiful, and
talented stars always shine for the shortest time.
Ichiou was my mentor. My friend. He helped me understand
the visions that plagued me, helped my poor mother
understand that it was normal, that there are many who
see like I do. He himself is the oldest of our kind. He
can see these things too. He always warned me that our
lives tend to be shorter than human lives. That we fade
quickly. The world cannot cope with too many people
knowing the future, knowing how everything would turn
out. But I never thought it would be this early. It
makes sense, all the warnings piece together in a
perfect crystal. At least I have known love. He cannot
know that my fate looms for me tonight. I want to let
him remember me how he wants to. My love.
and sparkle and glimmer across the floor. I can't help
but smile. We are happy together. The worries and
memories are pushed to the back of our minds as we
glitter. The world wants to be us, have this perfect
harmony and peace. Everyone in the room wants to be us
tonight. If they knew what we had both pushed to the
back of our minds tonight, then they would never want to
swap places with anyone ever again, but on the surface.
On the surface, we are divinely happy. We are twisting
through tables, other couples, sparkling through the
lights. Fitting, that their last memories of us will be
that we were so happy tonight. That we owned the whole
She looks like his princess, she could be
his queen. She is nice, and kind, and she could rule us
well. If she had been born loups-garoux then there would
be no trouble with her. She is pretty enough. She could
take my wife's place as queen very well. But she is not
one of us. Loups-garoux mate for life. Like real wolves.
Like the animals we are inside, our true selves. So I
can't keep her here any longer. He will forgive me
eventually. If it's not too late that is. But, I can't
have my oldest boy, the best for the job, the one the
stars picked at birth to be our next leader, fall in
love with some girl. Some, well, whatever he said she
is. Visionary, or something like that. The chill is
getting to my old bones. After so long of running free,
shoulder deep in thick snow. My time is coming fast now.
There must be no gap in leadership. We are the oldest
loups-garoux family in the world. There is nothing they
can do to stop us now. Everything is already in motion.
Midnight. The time everything draws to a
close. Even though we are almost adults already, the
school always insists that the dances be winding down,
if not over already, by midnight. Now is when I am
scared for her life.
Midnight is quite late actually. In some
of my previous schools the dance has ended at ten. The
end, of a blissful day. Something was going to happen at
the end of this, but I can't for the life of me remember
what it was. I sneak a glance at my date. He is broad,
tall. Brunette hair and deep brown eyes. I love this
boy, or man now really. I feel slightly drowsy. I sway
on my feet, almost fall. He catches me. Looks worried. I
giggle at him. "You look sooo silly," I can't help it, I
really can't. He does. I feel so lightheaded and happy.
I have had such a good time, and life is just so
perfect. I just wanna sleep now. Yeah, let me sleep
darling. I love you.
"NO!" The anguished cries rip from me,
her eyes closed firmly. Nothing will wake her now for a
good few hours. And I can feel the same drowsiness
creeping over me, enveloping me. I have to stay awake, I
just have to. They will kill her if I don't. Drugged. We
were drugged. Cowardly. I should have known. I should
not have expected any better from my father, my father
who would do anything to see this clan live, to see the
loups-garoux survive for another five hundred years in
this old dirty town.
Our ancestors used to move around. They
were nomads. We are pathetic. We have no real sense of
urgency when we run, when we hunt, and we don't really
need the food we hunt for. My father, he built this clan
from the desolate mess his brother left it in, and he
has been training me all my life to take his place.
There is no way he would let me be. There was never a
possibility that they would let me fall in love with
anyone other that the one they picked for me, to keep
the bloodline pure. My eyes. The drowsiness is pulling
them down. My determination is not enough for me to keep
them open. I can't fight anymore.
I watch as his head slowly falls to his
chest. His breathing becomes slower, steadier, with the
beautiful girl slumbering away in his arms. There is
nothing left to do now, except what we came here tonight
to do. I slip from my strategic perch high in the old
rafters. Old wolves don't really like heights,
especially not me, but it was necessary to keep an eye
on that boy and keep him under control. I had to watch,
make sure that my clan did not slip the drugs into a
human's drink. It had to be theirs. The drug won't last
much longer. I have about two hours to get them down to
Moaning slightly, I open my eyes hazily.
It was too dark to see anything. My head was pounding. I
felt like I had been ran over by a herd of elephants. I
tried to stretch out but something was stopping me. A
tight, grinding feeling along my wrists, pinning my arms
back and restricting my breathing. My eyes had adjusted
a bit more now, it wasn't as dark as I had previously
thought. I looked down. There was a thick, brown, heavy
rope secured tightly around my waist. The only place I
could move was my head. I couldn't twist that way, but I
assumed that my hands were secured around my back with
much the same rope. God knows I couldn't move my arms. I
seemed to be secured to a post of some kind. My ankles
were bound tight. I truly couldn't move. I was outside
somewhere, it was cold. The wind rustled around the
dense copse of trees. I was alone.
A strange sound. I lifted my head wearily
from where I had let it drop. I must have been out here
for hours. I was still tightly bound to the same post,
and I still couldn't move. The sound, was maybe,
footsteps? I couldn't be sure. Whatever it was seemed to
be gone now.
My breath came quicker. Misting in front
of my face. I was inexplicably scared. I could hear no
noises but I knew someone was there. I could hear
nothing, see no one, but it did smell a little of wet
dog. My mind struggled to remember something buried deep
in the back of it. There was something scary about
smelling wet dog. Something dangerous. Something to do
with hollow amber eyes carving through my brain.
I lifted my head drowsily. I couldn't
think through a thick mist that had clouded my brain. I
was lying on a cold stone floor. My fur kept me warm
though. I lifted my muzzle and took a long sniff. I was
in my basement. Which was right near our ritual ground.
What was I doing down here? I stretched out and slipped
into my human form. I climbed the stone steps and tried
to turn the handle of the thick wooded door. It wouldn't
budge. Why was I down here, locked up? Fragments of
memories danced across my vision, taunting me, singing,
laughing at me. The dance. I was at the dance. Why was I
at the dance? The loups-garoux pack never go to the
dance. I was dancing. With a girl. I...loved her. She
isn't loups-garoux! They are going to execute her! I rip
from my skin, howling like a devil's minion. I run at
the door. Thump. Again. I have to get out! I have to get
to her before it's too late!
Wolves. And not just any wolves. Wolves
that can be human as they please. They are all sat
around me now. Licking their lips. Most of them are
grey. One, Fraulir's father if I remember correctly, is
black. Jet black. He is their leader, their "king". He
is advancing towards me. Icy fear grips my heart. I
scream. They intend to kill me. I think about my mother,
my family, my friends. Will they even know I'm gone?
Will anyone rescue me? What happened to Fraulir? But I
know. I know that I am on my own. No one will save me.
This isn't a film. There won't be some white knight to
save me. My screams rip through my throat. Bruising my
vocal chords. I scream and scream and scream into the
black night. No one will hear me. We are too far away
from any houses, all I can see is trees. Help me! Help!
They're going to kill me!
I hear faint screams. Lucy! I renew my
attempts to bust the door down. I can hear the wood
cracking, deep inside. Not fast enough! My head aches
and there is nothing I can do. Lucy! I'm trying!
The black wolf grins at me. I see him
tense. God save me! The others gather around behind him.
They tense, ready to pounce. Help! HELP!
Her faint cries rip through me. I ram the
door again. Stars explode behind my eyes. The door's
hinges start to go. But I know already that it is too
late. I feel their teeth pierce her arms, legs. I know
her pain. I can feel it. I can feel
them...slowly...ripping her apart! I howl louder than I
ever have before in my life. Crying and howling, I carry
on pounding the door. On and on. Over and over. Until,
finally, those stars behind my eyes engulf me, and I am
taken down by black.
As their teeth pierce me, I scream for
Fraulir. My love. My heart thuds into my chest, my howls
of pain match the distant howls I can hear from
somewhere far off to the right. My blood runs down my
arms, flowing into their mouths. They enjoy my pain. The
pain is too much. I didn't know it would be this
woke up, I knew it was no good. There was a hole in my
chest where my love for her once dwelt. My pain was
unbearable. I knew that I would never see
again. I didn't know what time it was, but it was
lighter outside. The door handle turned. Someone was
coming. I could hear them, smell them. My father. I
struggled to my paws. I was swaying. I could hardly
stand, let alone walk, yet, when I saw him, I was full
of so much rage and hatred that I didn't feel dizzy
anymore. I launched myself at him. Snapping, snarling,
growling, biting. I connect with his jacket. He rips
from his human form and growls right back at me. I am
ripping, shredding. He is bleeding a lot, and I am
making a lot of noise. My mother comes in, to see what
all the noise is about. Surely they knew that I would
react like this. They have killed my love! My Lucy! As I
think of her, I stop and howl long and hard. If wolves
could cry, really cry, then I would be crying too. I was
shaking. Rage. Sorrow. Consumed.
out of the house. They try to stop me, but I won't stop.
I won't listen to them anymore. My love is gone. She is
gone. Forever. I stalk to the wood. I can't go back now.
I will never be able to go back. l cannot respect these
people anymore. I push doors and gates aside with my
head, and as soon as I am out of the property I used to
call home, I start to run. Run like I had wanted to ever
since I had first seen her face, first smelt her
intoxicating perfume. I ran and ran. And I never looked
got to the wood I looked around. This place, I had
become so familiar with. I had been thinking, as I left
the house, that I would stay here. But I realised now
that I could not do that. I couldn't stay here, they
would find me. Try to get me to go back. And maybe,
eventually, I would. I couldn't bear that. Maybe one day
I will go back. After my father has departed. I can't
live under his rule. Under the rule of a murderer. I
start to trot away from the village. I run through the
forest. I don't know where I am headed. But it has to be
far. Far far away from here.
months? Later. I've found a little wood. There are
wolves here. The smell is familiar, and comforting, but
I can't join them. I tried a little while after I got
here, but they knew there was something different about
me. They could sense it. I can't remember much about
being human. I can't remember how to change back now.
But that is okay. I don't mind. I was always more
comfortable like this.
into the night sky, I sit and remember her. Lucy. She
was so vibrant. She was so full of love. I never
understood why she fell in love with one such as me. I
am not a very good man. I was not very good to her. If I
had been truly nice or good, I would have saved her. I
never would have asked her to be mine. It is all my
fault. I just couldn't help it. I didn't care at the
time. I couldn't help myself. She was always so
beautiful. Her smile. Her laugh. Her happiness. That's
what I miss the most. She was always so vibrant. Loving.
Joyful. I will never forget her. That is one thing that
I will never forget. I will never forget her. She will
stay in my memory for the rest of my cursed life. Cursed
with the everlasting pine for her, that I once had, and
can never have again.
Yeah. She is all I need from my old life. I run through
the forest. Truly wolf. Hysterical madness bubbles
through me. Erasing everything except
instincts and her. Lucy. She will keep me company. These
other wolves won't. I'm too different from them. I know
I can never go back to the village now. My wolf will run
free forever. And now. Now it is all that is me. And all
that will be me.
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